Oh, I'm so hung over and I never even touched a drop. See, I can't get enough, this must be love.

I just needed to sort this all out. I wrote this, and couldn’t help but wonder what one might think of me after reading it.

I have a lot of secrets.  I am not a.. good girl that people, more, my family, perceive me to be. I find myself always wondering what they would think if they knew what I’m like.  I always want what I can’t have. I lust. I like sex.  I explain to girls how to give good blow jobs.  I like keeping guys hooked on. 
I’ll tell my best friend something I find extremely sexy, like having sex with a man twice my age and she gasps, “molly! You’re so dirty!” and I can’t help but smile.
Is this wrong? Is it wicked that I crave things that I know are wrong?  More, does it make me a bad person? I’d say no. My morals are in line.. For the most part. I suffer from a lack of self esteem, yes, but that’s from something entirely different. I’m not out there offering my body to different guys.  I don’t think I’m a bad person for it. I’d never go out and hook up with a married man.  I’d never mislead a guy with deceiving actions.
I can’t reveal this part to me to many people.  I’m just.. Full of secrets.  I’m full of desires and I guess I have no way to express them yet. 
I’m not a slut. Don’t get me wrong. Hell, I haven’t even had sex in a while.
I guess.. I just needed to get that out.
This is one of the many reasons I think they got my age wrong.

I’m not an awful person for thinking..feeling this way.. Right?